Your Chaos is Data, Not Failure (and How to Tell the Difference Between Rest and Resistance)

Welp. I did it again. Ignored that inner compass in favor of "self care" disguised as good old fashioned procrastination.

For months, yes, months, my to-do list had been growing. Along with it? My avoidance. 

Enter, the Art of Turtling.

Yes, that is exactly as it sounds. It's where you know there's stuff to do, you know your body is uncomfortable and trying to send you messages, and yet your brain – bless its overthinking heart – ignores them with a resounding, overriding message of "You'll be more productive next week if you take the weekend to do nothing". And then?

Turtle.

Like pulling a blanket over my head and pretending I'm invisible, I hide. I hide from my to-do (ahem, to-don’t) list, from my mounting unease about all those adulting tasks, and from real life responsibilities. You know, the ones that would actually make an impact on my future? Those ones.

The idea, in its premise, is healthy. It's not good to constantly keep going. But here's what I missed: different tasks can still be a break.

When "Rest" Becomes Resistance

That nagging feeling about my growing to-do list? That wasn't stress I needed to avoid – that was data I needed to listen to. My body was telling me something, and I kept hitting the mute button.

Real self-care isn't always a quiet walk in the woods and long country drives. Sometimes it's honoring what would actually make you feel better. And if feeling better would come from, well, working, then … a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right?

Your Chaos Has Something to Say

Here's the thing your brain doesn't want you to know: that overwhelm you're feeling? That constant sense that something's "off"? That feeling like you're juggling too many things and dropping half of them?

That's not evidence that you're failing. That's data.

Your messy truth is your internal GPS saying "recalculating". It's your body and mind saying, "Hey. Listen up. This isn't working."

But instead of listening to what the chaos is trying to tell us, we spend our energy trying to make it look prettier. We organize our way around the real issue. We productivity-hack our way past the actual problem.

What if, instead, we got curious?

Getting Quiet to Get Clear

My shift happened (again … because apparently I'm a slow learner when it comes to listening to my inner wisdom) when I had that lightning bolt realization of "Uh oh, I think I forgot to listen to my body again". In fairness, it had been voicing its concerns louder and louder, like a toddler asking for a snack, and I kept stomping it down with a placating "it's ok … we need to rest and do nothing".

But once it started screaming at me, I couldn't ignore the tension any more. Instead of automatically choosing turtle mode, I asked: "What do I really want right now? What would feel good?"

This time? The answer was to stop procrastinating and start adulting. Stop putting off all the things that may not spark joy today, but will definitely spark relief tomorrow.

Following Your Inner Voice, Not Your Inner Critic

We can't control our 9-to-5s. We can't control the endless demands of adulting. But we can move through it all with more grace and ease when we tune into what our body and intuition are actually asking for.

Your inner voice knows the difference between productive action and busy work. It knows when you need to push through and when you need to pause. It knows which tasks will energize you and which ones will drain you.

The key is learning to trust it – even when it suggests doing something instead of "resting."

In my case, when I got quiet and asked what it wanted to do, the answer was work – but it was different work from my regular day job. Creative, nourishing, fulfilling. And while I worked a full day, at the end I felt fantastic.

Why? Because I’d invested in myself. And that, my friends, is self care.