You Unfiltered: Why Your 'Messy' Truth is Your Superpower

Let’s have a little heart-to-heart about that adorable lie we keep telling ourselves that we need to transform into some sort of zen goddess who meal-preps on Sundays and never loses her car keys before we're allowed to be real humans in public. Recognize any truth in that? 

It’s the same type of story where you're convinced you need to wait until your life looks like a Pottery Barn catalog crossed with a motivational Instagram account before you can admit you sometimes eat cereal for dinner and cry at dog videos.

But here's what I've learned after years of coaching women (and personally achieving the impressive feat of losing my phone while talking on it): Your messy truth isn't your dirty little secret—it's your actual superpower.

Cue dramatic superhero music

The Myth of Having It All Together (Spoiler: Nobody Does)

Social media has us believing that authenticity looks like perfectly lit photos of someone crying artfully into their morning coffee with a caption about "vulnerable moments" and exactly 47 inspirational hashtags.

Real life? Real life is feeding your kids popcorn for dinner and justifying the decision by acknowledging its origins as a vegetable. 

Real life is thinking you’ve just been called on in the company meeting, and having to ask (after painful moments of silence) “Sorry, are you asking me? You are? Um, what’s the question, exactly?”  

It's showing up as the beautifully unhinged human you actually are, not as the woman who definitely has her life together and would never Google "Is it normal to talk to your plants?" at 2 AM.

Your Chaos is Data, Not Evidence of Your Impending Doom

Here's the thing your anxious brain doesn't want you to know: that feeling like you're constantly trying to be three steps ahead of finding out the world is flat and you’re about to walk off the edge of it? 

That's not proof you're failing at life. That's your internal GPS having what I like to call a "recalculation moment."

Your anxious brain, the tightness in your chest, the quickened breathing, tense muscles … the messy truth is that your body and mind are staging an intervention, saying, "Hey girl, something here needs attention, and no, buying another planner isn't going to fix it."

But instead of listening to what our chaos is trying to tell us, we're over here trying to Marie Kondo our feelings and bullet journal our way out of existential confusion.

What if we actually embraced the mess and befriended it (maybe even asked it a few questions) instead of trying to organize it into submission?

The Magic of Unfiltered Truth (AKA Why Hot Messes Are Actually Magnetic)

When you stop trying to be the woman who has a skincare routine with more than two steps and start owning your beautiful disaster energy, something magical happens:

People actually want to hang out with you.

Believe it or not, authenticity is like a magnet for other humans who are also secretly wondering if they're the only ones who sometimes miss the same turnoff 6 times because Google Maps seems ever so slightly delayed in its ‘turn here’ warning.

When you stop performing "Of course I’ve got this, don’t you?" and start admitting "I’m hanging on by a half-charged phone and blind optimism" you become the person others want to text when they're having their own 3 AM existential crisis.

Your unfiltered truth becomes less "please don't look at my disaster" and more "welcome to the party, we're all disasters here."

But What About My Professional Street Cred?

I know, I know. You're thinking, "But what if I'm too real and people stop taking me seriously? What if I admit I sometimes eat lunch by 10am, and sometimes the best response I can think of is “Can you give me time to percolate on this one?”

Here's what I've learned: People don't hire robots. They hire humans who understand that life is basically controlled chaos with occasional moments of clarity.

Admitting your mistakes doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you relatable and human.

And if you happen to be in the same situation as I am, where a company actually thought it would be a good idea to have you lead people? Well, admitting mistakes becomes all the more important, because those direct reports? They know I get it. I'm not dispensing wisdom from my perfectly organized life tower—I'm down there in the trenches with them, probably also looking for my other shoe.

Your mess doesn't disqualify you from helping people. It qualifies you to help them for real.

The Unfiltered Practice (Or: How to Stop Being Exhausting)

Ready to embrace your beautiful disaster energy? Here's how to start:

Stop being the customer service representative of your own life. When someone asks how you are, try saying something other than "Good, busy!" Maybe try "Honestly? I'm kind of a perimenopausal mess today, but it's fine because I had coffee and my shirt is on right-side out."

Get nosy about your messy feelings. Instead of asking "How far do I have to bury my head in the sand before this goes away?" try asking "What is this feeling / sensation / freaking fire alarm trying to tell me?" Your overwhelm isn't just random—it's trying to slide into your DMs with important information.

Share one beautifully imperfect truth. In your next conversation, social media post, or therapy session, share something that doesn't have a bow on it. Something that's still figuring itself out, like the rest of us.

Notice what happens when you're actually human. Spoiler alert: the right people will stick around. The wrong people will probably go find someone else to make them feel bad about their own humanity.

Your Messy Truth is Your Secret Weapon

Listen up, beautiful disaster: You don't have to figure it all out before you're allowed to be a person. You don't have to be "healed" (whatever that means) to deserve love and connection. You don't have to wait until you're the woman who has time to go to the gym and shower before jumping into meetings. (Yep, my coworkers thank me every day that we’re remote first!)

Your messy truth—the real, unfiltered, "I'm just figuring it out as I go" version of you—isn't just enough. It's exactly what this world of Instagram filters and LinkedIn humble-brags needs.

Because in a world full of people pretending they have it together, authenticity is basically a superpower.

And you, my fellow beautiful chaos-maker, are a superhero in disguise.

Ready to Embrace Your Inner Hot Mess?

If reading this made you think "OMG this is me" or "I feel seen but also called out"—I've got something that might help.

Sometimes our messy truth is trying to tell us something specific about what's making us feel like we're that dumpster fire floating down a flooded street meme. Maybe it's boundaries that are more like gentle suggestions. Maybe it's patterns that need a serious conversation. Maybe it's just permission to stop trying to be the woman who has it all together.

Take my Zen Disruptor Quiz to figure out what your chaos is actually trying to tell you—so you can start working with your beautiful disaster instead of against it.

Because your messy truth isn't a problem to fix with the right organizational system. It's a superpower waiting for you to stop apologizing for it.

Take the Zen Disruptor Quiz

P.S. If you made it this far, you're probably my people. Welcome to the hot mess express—we have snacks and absolutely no judgment.